April fool news
The reality has surpassed
Witty way of dealing with the criminal gangs found in one Latin American country. There the President appointed hiding in the jungle drug Lord and the head of the region began to transfer to him the money from the state budget to the criminal authority eliminated the need to do illegal business. The reality has surpassed expectations: the Baron was not just loyal to his benefactor, and became his first friend and confidant in the elections. They even say they smoke weed together and do joint injections of flu vaccine.
Best practices in action
Three world capitals defied Moscow. In new York, taking the example of the mother, said a decisive «no» to the squatter and began the demolition of skyscrapers built without permits and coordination with the local city hall in the early twentieth century. Stockholm, intending to beat the mother, tried to turn the city into a skating rink not only in the winter months but in summer, that will certainly attract in Sweden are much more tourists and medical staff than before. Prague smashed car Parking in the alleys of the cemeteries, where Parking lots are particularly attractive due to the small number of pedestrians. Moscow authorities must be hard to talk to seek out, what else can differ in a civilized community.
Bridges of friendship
With rationalization proposal was made by a group of enthusiasts, who offered not to build the Kerch, or, as it is now called, the Crimean bridge, since Russia already has a similar construction with identical poimenovanjem. Yes not somewhere, and in Moscow! Started dismantling the capital of the Crimean bridge — to further his relocation to the Crimean region (where the ferry because of its designation and should be!). In parallel to Kerch will be sent and removed Borodino and Large Stone bridges, their length in the sum will be the required length of the road through the Strait.
The expectation of joy
Great joy awaits consumers of drugs: discovered new deposits of limestone and its deposits are so high that soon the pharmacy will rush even more than before, a flood of cheap medicines. Everyone is invited to get treated for any ailments plaguing him.
Approved new rosproekt — the building of Potemkin science cities. Provides for the establishment in each such imaginary oasis of the future schools, sports facilities imaginary, imaginary medical institutions, and nanotechnology industries. To oversee the project entrusted to the sub-Lieutenant kije.
The Mona Lisa Smile
Discovered the bones of the model’s of Leonardo da Vinci he painted the Mona Lisa. Set: the shape of her nose does not match the one portrayed by the painter. For the sake of restoration of historical justice the canvas will be subjected to alteration. The nose will lengthen and flatten, we will be able to admire the true standard of beauty.
After much painstaking research determined the composition of anti-aging cream for those over 90. A pilot batch of the product is already on sale. The firm-the promoter is counting on a steady increase and expansion of sales, as data-oriented sociologists all about lengthening human life.
«Post-gel» — will return to your face defectology freshness!
Perforated toilet paper — something that everybody needs in times of crisis and in order to save scarce pulp!
Drug addiction? Alcoholism? Suicide? The movers! Here’s a way out! That’s who you need in these circumstances and under these conditions. Call around the clock! Delivery service «boatmen».
208 burglaries, robberies 146, 71 carjacking, rape and 32 8 assassinations committed over the past year in Kukuevskoi area Meliorators area. These crimes, as well as increased drug trafficking, were made possible because the police brand launched a fight against moonshining and Smoking. The RAID carried out has allowed to identify and to withdraw from population 199 the stills and 2846 packs of cigarettes. At the General meeting of vigilantes decided that such harsh measures will be the traditional — and, presumably, will yield positive results in the near future. Let the thrill killers and rapists!
An interesting innovation implemented in the school №9 of the city of Klapinska: classes delivered by the police and seated at desks negligent parents, students, dropouts and truants. The effect of initiatives exceeded expectations: adults begin this is an attempt to educate their children that not only attendance but also performance goes up dramatically.
On the screens the film «the Machinations of Pluto» — on the flight to this planet and meeting the heroes with evil spirits, vampires and ghosts. The film is based on real events.
Buy diapers, diapers, a toothbrush, a car, an apartment, a coffin — and please do not turn off the TV, our advertising and life will pass quickly and quietly!