Пробурить скважину для воды
Почему спускают колеса
Строительная доска объявлений

As I was a woman

Andrey Demchenko.

And you women become happy from these men’s attempts for at least a day to become you. Nothing that the next day, when the husband goes to work, you have to eat potatoes or soup with the saltiness of the dried fish, lip biting over the burnt shirt and to wash the entire apartment, taking out each corner on a pile of rubbish. Most importantly — they were you! The men visited the women and realized… Realized…

What they realized? That time to realize one day? Another thing — I. I was a woman not one day, week or even month. I was her… Ten years! Don’t believe? Here’s how it happened…

Ten years ago, the wife went back to work — ended maternity leave. And I have, as ordered, covered with a copper basin the business I was doing then. The little boy was three years old. I remember it was evening. Last evening my male life. Tomorrow the wife had to go to work. We were sitting in the kitchen.

You’ve got the eyes of a frightened cat, ‘ said the wife.

I don’t think what to say. I really was scared. Before it was like in primitive times. As, indeed, it should be: with a club I went to the woods, felled the Buffalo and brought the spoils, the wife cooked a roast and nursed a child… Now Dubina passed into her hands, and I… if I Can? Gonna lose?

The first joke was my rule of cooking pasta. Because I’ve seen this dish only served on a plate, then, of course, the pasta I put it in cold water, lighted the gas, and he began to watch hockey. And soon forgot about everything except the match. Brought me back to reality by the door bell. The neighbor stopped his companion, a German, had difficulties in communication, the neighbor remembered that I have a free German… I was invited to enter. In the kitchen I caught sight of a German and he looked at the stove. Oh my God! In the pan was paste what we in my youth hung Wallpaper! The German just eyes on the forehead climbed.

— What is it? he asked, pointing to the paste.

Of course, I was embarrassed to admit and make a spectacle of yourself.

Is that a Russian national dish, — without batting an eye I said, ‘ try it! It is, of course, not for everybody, but I hope you will like it.

The Germans, in turn, was uncomfortable to accept, though as he looked at the thick white liquid poured into his plate, with undisguised disgust. The neighbor I quietly made terrible eyes and showed a fist; he decided to remain silent. The German gently scooped with a spoon terrible muck, took a SIP, smacked his lips…

— You know, something to eat, ‘ he said, putting down the spoon, but I’m not hungry. Thank you.

Cry little boy, «daddy, am-am!» terrified me. I rushed to the fridge, stirred its contents, however, anything but scrambled eggs with sausages, me is still not enough. But if the son was still too small and gastronomy understood as much as in higher mathematics, and it can bring delight, buying high-calorie muffin or a few Ledenyov, with his wife these variants do not roll. So her question: «what are we eating for dinner?» — was much worse. I had no choice but go into the Internet and studying recipes. So the house appeared lazy vareniki, cutlets, grilled meat and fish, mashed potatoes, salad…

Festivities with a child on the Playground — generally a separate issue. The young mommy looked at me into my eyes and whispering on the benches. I was amazed that they are not trying to learn, not flirt, in short, do not manifest themselves to me as women. Then they started talking to me, but in these conversations there was not a hint of something intimate — though in the slightest degree! I did that for the first time, and I am somewhat confused. And when I realized what was happening, actually was stunned. They simply didn’t perceive me as a man because I was in their socio-behavioral niche! I am discussing with them the quality of baby food and children’s clothing, the treatment of cold and cough, was regarded by them as mommy!

Remember the anecdote: a doctor comes pregnant man. The doctor gasps: like, how so, how did this happen?

You won’t believe it, doctor, ‘ answered the man, — it all started with washing dishes…

I felt the same as he. After all, a truly terrible happened: a couple of times I refused you know what, citing… headache!

Finally the son started school, and I partook of all the hardships and deprivation of parental life. Mom, I was completely fanatical and even insane: he agreed to lead the parent Committee, argued with other moms and almost fought with the fathers of their children when they hurt my boy. I fell into slavery to the leaders of Amateur, began to put some plays with the kids and myself to play them, as well as an operatic voice to sing the songs at school concerts. I was horrified even triples in the diary of his son, and so from the two I with trembling hands pulled out of the bag valocordin.

By the way, about the bag. Normal borsetki was not enough for me, the wife gave a hefty purse on a belt, in which I was looking purely feminine, unloading the wet wipes, paper handkerchiefs, keys, cell phone, a pack of cigarettes… Sometimes we are with other moms secretly smoked, CORONAS from teachers and their own children for school.

School moms, it should be noted, too, treated me as a girlfriend, complained about men, was in a hurry to inform you in which the store began selling children’s jeans and jackets… Gave their loyalty card. And, most have already lost the sense of reality, showed their new manicures, rings and earrings. I was afraid that on February 23 I will give the mascara, but nothing happened. Men’s fragrance and shaving foam showed me that not all is lost…

Now I’m still engaged in the boy, although not so stunned ride and not as loud clap near his wings — he is in seventh grade, after all. Now they are rather manly. More work — casting, filming, concerts. See, the Lord took pity and decided to give me what I lost as a woman.

But I get it. Understand, my dear you! Not a day for ten years I realized what burden are you taking your whole life on your fragile shoulders! I now instantly stuff the mouths of those men that speak disparagingly about the Housewives. They don’t understand these louts what it means to COMUNICATE. What it is every day to do work that does not notice or cares for no one, taking for granted and cooked dinner, and washed the floors, and laundered linen, and the lessons are made together with the child, and endless walking on music schools and sports sections! And many of you, dear, you are my woman, doing all this, managing to still go to work! But this is already beyond my understanding. I wouldn’t be pulled, just saying. For this we need to be a woman. This. Not like me.

Happy women’s day dear! I wish you all the best, and most importantly, let every man sooner or later will realize what I realized.

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